11 December 2013

Don't Talk to Cops

"One of the Fifth Amendment’s basic functions is to protect innocent men who otherwise might be ensnared by ambiguous circumstances. Truthful responses of an innocent witness, as well as those of a wrongdoer may provide the government with incriminating evidence from the speaker’s own mouth." -The Supreme Court (Ohio v. Reiner)

06 December 2013

two lovely things

Look at these beautiful snowflakes! It's amazing that every one is created so uniquely. They are all spectacular, and some unexpected. Of all the creations, I feel like Father must have the most fun creating snowflakes. I think about the things that I love to do and see that no one knows about--it's good and special to have some things for ourselves. I love the idea of my Father creating each snowflake so carefully, and letting them fall and melt around his children, most of whom will never see the details. I hope this is one thing that he creates for himself. For the simple pleasure of creating.

Check out the rest of the photos here:



The second lovely thing is this song:

It moves me.

For years I've listened to this song and attributed it to ... a person. There've been a few people in my life that I thought of when I listened to this song. People that I thought I might be with "one day," as long as I waited long enough for them. Recently I felt a shift--I felt that it belongs to no one. The one it belongs to just... doesn't exist yet. Not for me. It's not about someone that is there yet, or at least in the right form and time. It belongs to someone that isn't here yet. I would wait 'til kingdom come to find that one, and it will be worth the wait. If this song moved me deeply before, it doesn't compare to what it does now.

04 December 2013

kisses for all the boys who never pressured a girl!

Because I just ♥ you so much.

I read this article and was sad to read about what many people face. It's a concern that people have everywhere, regardless of their personal standard, or whether or not they choose to be abstinent before marriage.

The truth is that sex is a special and intimate expression of love, and you really, truly give a piece of yourself to someone when you're physical with them. It's a major emotional connection in a relationship. Speaking of any physical engagement, it's never okay to pressure someone, OR to punish them emotionally/mentally because they won't do what you want (acting angry, freezing them out, threatening them with breakup, trying to convince them you're in the right--this is not the same as communication/discussion, which can be essential). Being physical is important; it creates bonds, it feels good. We luv it. Yay! But everyone has a different timeline and comfort level, and we must respect that about each other.

If a relationship is to maintain balance, physical development should grow with friendship, respect, time, commitment, acceptance, trust, etc. Trust is something to be earned. It's a lovely thing.

Every girl and boy is beautiful and unique, in their character and spirit, and even in their timeline. It's okay to take time in life, to get things right, and to enjoy every moment.

28 October 2013

t h r e a d

Find a thread to pull and we can watch it unravel
Because we've been living with a ghost of summer from two years ago

A hint of light in the dark
But only enough to keep from giving up
If I could go back to the start
To break the pattern forming between us

A needle dragging thread
To form the chapters only we could know
But they will overlap
And cast a shadow on what little is left

Find a thread to pull and we can watch it unravel
But this is just the start
We'll find out who we are

A hint of light in the dark
But only enough to keep from giving up
If I could go back to the start
To break the pattern forming between us


27 October 2013

All the film cameras at once...

Here's what happens in life. You find something you really love. But it doesn't seem practical so you do something else. Then you keep coming back to it. Because it's what reeeally makes you happy. And that seems to be what happens in love too, as far as I can observe. Try til you get it right...  But anyway, every time I try to do something that isn't what really makes me happy, I end up losing myself. Maybe this is a fault in character, but I always thought that I was pretty sure of myself. Maybe that's why I don't completely stick with the things that don't fulfill me... maybe I am fearless enough for that. I try to be practical too, though. And my constant battle is finding the balance between those two places.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is actually to keep myself organized and gather a lot of information that will help me today, and hopefully in the future.

I have a bunch of film cameras. The one thing that makes me happiest in life is shooting film, developing and printing it (as well as experimenting with historical processes). So then everyone would wonder why I am a graphic designer then... and my answer to that is that it is something I still enjoy, and honestly, I felt like it would be more practical than photography. I never wanted to be a professional photographer, because I didn't want to risk something I loved so much; I was afraid that I would ruin it by needing it. And to be honest, I'm still afraid of that, which is why I continue to work a full-time job. Hey, I need money to support my camera and film purchases after all (among other things...)!

However a recent not-so-uncommon experience reminded me that I need to stop losing myself every time something in my life changes. All my cameras sit there on a shelf looking pretty, and I hardly ever use them.

So today, I started playing with them. All of them at once. It's like I work in rushes--I get back into photography and want to do everything at once. So here are a bunch of notes on random cameras, and things I need to get/do in order to be satisfied in their functionality. Oh my gosh... for no reason whatsoever I just got really dang sick of having a last name that no one can ever.pronounce. This is the only time in my life that I've ever cared. x_X

Back to cameras. Here are my notes:

Kodak..... did you really have to make a different reel size for every camera you made?

Kodak Autographic Junior 04 This beaut, made between 1914-1927, was made for type 116 Autographic film. That's right, folks... not 120... not even 620 film. 116. What? It's a giant reel. Here is an article I need to use to build a mask, adapt the reels for 120 film. Here is another forum post. Some more specs about the camera here.

Another constant battle I have is with my Instant Back for my Diana F+. I have literally only ever gotten one picture to come out of that baby correctly. This lovely double exposure taking in complete darkness, lit with a blue-filtered ringflash. See those green lines at the top? Every other one of my pictures is completely black except for those green lines. For some reason when I'm trying to solve this problem, meanwhile wasting a bunch of shots that cost roughly $1 a piece, I feel completely befuddled. Can someone please help me figure out if my normal daylit/window lit shots have TOO much light or not enough light? Did the ringflash add so much light that it helped, or was it so dark that the picture finally came out. The film is 800 speed, which makes me think there was too much light. HELP I can't solve this!

Completely mad about my Voigtlander Brilliant! It was a gift from my sweet mommy, who knows me well, and can't keep a secret (she gave it to me 2 months before my birthday). The reason I love this one is because it's gorgeous, quirky, and takes 120 film like a pro. 3 aperture settings, 2 shutter speed settings. I just used it for the first time yesterday, so I'm excited to develop the film. We'll see if the pictures are milky--I might have to take the camera apart for a deeper cleaning inside the lens.

I want this one so bad:

Mamiya Universal w/ Polaroid back :) But maybe one day I could get the parts and put it together myself. Certainly would be at least a bit cheaper than this one. Note to self: the Polaroid back does not work on the Super 23.

Anyway this is a super boring post, but not to me :) And it's helped me stay organized with which cameras I want to focus on.