"Because I said so," children, and.... truth.

I don't think that you should ever (as a default) tell a kid "because I said so" as your reason for not letting them do something.

You totally lose your credibility. They're going to think, even subconsciously, "that's just the aa-dult cop out for 'I don't have a good reason'" and even if they do what you say, they're going to lose |------| this much respect for you. |------| much respect x 100 is a lot of respect.

Here's the thing. Just tell them the reason. Tell them exactly why you don't think it would be a good idea to do something, or why you wont let them climb on the counter, or why you wont buy them something, or why you need to go somewhere. Just tell them. [last time you fell off, we don't have enough money, I want you to earn it, there are spiders over there, it will make you sick, you need to wash away the germs...] At least you have a reason. And if you suddenly realize that your reason isn't good enough, just let them do it! If your reason isn't good enough, it's your turn to get over it and stop doing things because you want control.

I feel like that is legitimate.

I also believe that you will be teaching your kids SO much if you explain things to them, instead of writing them off. Even 3-year-olds are incredibly intelligent and pick up on little habits, phrases, and even logic of adults. So explain yourself to them, and maybe they'll avoid mistakes in the future. Maybe they'll learn something that will stick with them forever.

And you'll never lose credibility, because you will become someone that has a reason for everything he/she does, and recognizes when it doesn't matter either way, and allows for agency and responsibility and personal control on the part of the children. Remember that the fact that you're an adult does not equal logic. "Because I said so" is a black hole of a reason.

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And on to truth. Can I please escape the responsibility of this post actually being all about truth? It will only be a little fragment..... the truth-post would go on for days! And weeks!

But here's a lovely thing:

There is great comfort in the knowledge of truth, for truth has the quality of certainty and authority. It has been said that "'no pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage ground of truth' (a hill not to be commanded, and where the air is always clear and serene), 'and to see the errors and wanderings, and mists and tempests, in the vale below': so always that this prospect be with pity, and not with swelling pride. Certainly, it is heaven upon earth, to have a man's mind move in charity, rest in providence, and turn upon the poles of truth." (Francis Bacon, "On Truth") [as quoted in 1974 by John H. Vandenberg]

Is that not beautiful? I love the comparison of rising upon a hill to see below errors and wanderings... Like the children's book "Mumkin" a personal favorite of my sister and I :) about the horse who was selfish and blocked off the best part of grass so he could eat it all himself... and then the other horses followed suit. And when he finally got to the top of the hill, he looked down and saw that they had destroyed the beauty of the land by piling it up with branches and fences.



Then he called for change.

It's such a silly parallel. I'm doing a horrible job doing justice to truth. Please know... it's sacred to me. I need to write more about it one day.